My wife is a lovely and wonderful
woman. She's my soul mate... my one, true love. She can also be down
right... ornery, at certain times. Even though I know this, it still
catches me off guard.
I might say something innocent, like,
'You look cute today, baby.' The next thing I know, I'm
getting my head bit-off. Uh oh! Now's probably not the best time to
be poking the bear.
'Honey, you're the dumbest smart
person I know.', is something I
often hear from my wife. Apparently it takes me a minute to realize
that now is not the time for cuddling... or compliments... or even
breathing.
Every man knows
what I'm talking about, so I won't go into any real details. Suffice
it to say, when this time comes, I'm ALWAYS wrong. Always. Without
exception.
One minute, she's a
charming creature with a twinkle in her eye, and the next she's a
roaring bear, clawing at my throat. When this transformation happens,
I usually follow these simple steps:
- Stop moving – She might not notice me.
- Back away slowly – Oh, boy! She saw me!
- Get out of sight – If she can't see me, she can't kill me.
- Hide under the covers – See the above.
- When all else fails: RUN! - He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day!
So, what do I do
if I DON'T see the danger signs? Well, as quoted above, I ain't too
smart. Since I like poking the bear so much, I often take it to
extremes... Which, of course, only serves to agitate my wife even
more. Wouldn't you think, after all the years we've been together, that I'd
have learned better by now?
…
Nope. Just take a
look at this blog. Here I sit, still teasing that angry, angry bear.
…
Oh... um... Hey,
baby! I love you!
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