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Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Do You Cracker Barrel?

“An old man, garbed in tattered robes, sits near the fire in the common room of a lonely, aged inn. Upon seeing you enter, he motions for you to draw closer, and points toward an open spot on the floor at his feet. As you sit, he takes a deep breath, and begins to speak.”

Let me tell you a story. A story that would one day become known as...

The Rocking Chair Incident!

Nice intro, huh? Anyway, it was a pretty typical day in June. My wife and I were off from work and spending the day together. Our son was still in school (extended school year due to the massive snow storms we had had), so we decided to go on a date to eat at the local Cracker Barrel.

When we arrived, and started toward the front entrance, my wife casually mentioned how she loved the rocking chairs that lined the front porch of the restaurant/shop. She said we just HAD to sit in one, and made me do so.

rocking chair
The Chair in Question.

They have some very fine chairs, and, while it was very nice, I didn't understand why we were just sitting around outside instead of going in to eat. After about 5 minutes, give or take, we went in, and had a wonderful meal.

A few weeks later, on my wife's birthday, some of her friends came over to leave a surprise for her on our front porch. Low and behold it was one of the Cracker Barrel rockers. They talked about how my wife wanted one of these rockers for her birthday. BOOM! I realized that she had been hinting for me to get her one!

Say what? How was I supposed to know that? Suffice it to say, my wife was pretty upset that I hadn't figured out, after she dropped “So MANY hints!”

Ladies, please, listen to me. I'm a guy. We do NOT do subtle. If we want something, we tell you. If you want something, you have to tell US! Doghouse for days afterward...

The moral of the story... Guys, you better invest in a Ouija board, crystal, magic 8 ball, or something! Women seem to think we're 'Carnac the Magnificent.' Yeesh! (Bonus points to anyone who knows who Carnac is!)

BONUS VIDEO: Who is Carnac the Magnificent?


  1. I tell my wife the same thing. If you want me to do something, just ask me. Don't make me read between the lines.

    1. Scott,

      Yeah, I think it's just one of those (many) things that are different between men and woman (not always, of course, but often enough to be common).

      I just do the best I can, and keep my head down when I (inevitably) mess up!

      Thanks for the really nice comment! I appreciate it!

  2. First, I will take my bonus points, because I know who Carnac is. Second, I learned a long time ago that if there is something I need or want, to just be straightforward and let my husband know..and I usually get what I want (he's a happy wife, happy life kind of guy). It's too much work to drop hints and make 'suggestions.'

    1. Erica,

      Yeah! I used to love Carnac (and all the other great characters Johnny did) when I was a kid. He was a staple of late night TV when I was growing up, and none of the 'newer' guys have ever quite reached his peak, IMHO.

      I, too, am a 'Happy Wife, Happy Life' kind of guy... I just love teasing my lovely lady. ;)

      Thanks for the comment and sharing with me! It's great to read what other people think!

      +20 TV TRIVIA POINTS! ;)

  3. I totally agree! Men do not get hints, girls. What I do is jot down a wish list for my birthday and Christmas, and hand it to my husband. He appreciates this. It's a great arrangement!

    1. Hey, Fabiola!

      Yeah, I wish my wife would do that. Oh, well, I shall persevere!

      Thanks for your wonderful comment!

  4. Yeah, no. That's not a hint. Now, me staring at the old-timey candy with a meaningful expression, pointing, and saying "WANT." THAT is a hint. Oi, communication.

    1. Very nice comment, Skillupskillet!

      Yeah, I'm not really a hint guy. Give me a logic puzzle, and I'll spend my time trying to work it. Give me odd hints... It ain't gonna happen! I just ain't that good!

      I appreciate the comment!