Of Toilet Seats, Wee-wee, and (a) Man

Okay, so yesterday's blog was an introduction to a little bit of why MY WIFE HATES ME. I want to tell you a more about each of those 'TOP TEN' things. I feel that I can add a some depth (and maybe get just a 'wee' bit understanding... at least from the guys)!

“WHO PEED ON THE TOILET SEAT!?!”

First of all, I'm not the only guy in the house. Sometimes it could be the boy who does this, but it's always ME that gets the blame. Now, I'm not innocent of this (heinous) crime. I've already admitted to that, but why am I the one getting yelled at?

I don't try and intentionally make a mess. When I'm actually passed 'groggy,' I usually DO 'wipe the seatie,' as a former co-worker used to say. So I ask myself, 'George ( refer to myself as George, though that's not my name), why can the lady of the house not check the seat? Why must I 'put the seat up' when I use the toilet, and 'put the seat down' when I am done?'

Now, of course, I never bring this up with the wife. Oh, no. She'll inevitably tell me how hard it is to be a woman and how miserable she can make my life if I don't agree with her. So, naturally, being the 'dumbest smart guy' (she actually calls me that, along with some other choice names that begin with a synonym for donkey) my wife knows, I argue with her.

(I'll let you in on a little secret. I think she's right, but I just like arguing with her, anyway. She's drop dead sexy when she gets angry).

Well, that's about all I have to say on this subject. Tune in next week (though there will be NO blog post on Monday, due to the Labor Day holiday) when I continue to regal you with tales of WHY MY WIFE HATES ME!

P.S.: Because of the holiday, I'll be giving you a 2-fer-1 special on Tuesday's blog. In addition to my rivetting prose, you'll also get to experience my review of one of my favorite movies (one my wife, of course, HATES): “HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU”

Peace out, ya'll!