Talking 'Bout Movies... BEFORE They're Over

... during our feature presentation.

I am not usually a talker. I've always been an introvert, and my wife is an extrovert. She makes friends easily, she's a conversationalist, and she enjoys talking to people... Except during movies. Then, she wants absolute silence, so that she can enjoy the film. This is perfectly reasonable. Unfortunately, this is also when I can't shut up.

Yes, I am one of those people. Whenever we sit down, either as a couple or as a family, to watch some cinema, I'll inevitably begin examining the plot, or the characters, or the scenes in general. My wife cannot stand this. It makes her want to rip my lips off and bury them where they'll never be found again.

Honestly, I don't do it to be annoying. It's not a question, in this instance, of poking the bear. I just feel like Roger Ebert, and have an overwhelming desire to express my opinion at the movies (if you don't get that reference, it's okay. I was young once, too).

Zip it good!

It's not as if I don't try to keep quiet; it's just that, no matter what, I'll have to start stating my opinions immediately. It doesn't matter if we're watching my kind of movie (read: chick flick), my wife's kind (read: action/drama), or my son's (read: anything newer than 2000): I will still begin breaking down the plot/story/scene before we're out of the 1^st act.



If my wife had her way, I'm sure she'd super-glue my mouth shut. Know any kind that only lasts for about 2 hours?



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That was a joke, people. Really. It was. Try not hurt yourselves holding that laughter in, okay?